Tag Archives: inspiration

A Late #SoCS – Directions

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I am running late this week on my #SoCS, but here I am. So Linda gave us the prompt of “directions”.  So I looked at a frozen dinner in my freezer and one of those Yakisoba soups and their directions started with peel back the corner to vent contents.

Peeling back the corner of the box is kind of like peeling back that first layer of an onion. This reminds me of a classic line from Mike Meyers as Shrek to Eddie Murphy as Donkey in the family movie Shrek. “Ogre’s are like onions!”

For me this particular time of recovery from my problems with alcoholism and addiction to cocaine addiction is a reminder that those of us in recovery that are really taking their program seriously are not ogres but they are definitely like onions. As people in recovery we are slowly peeling back those layers until we get to the very core of what we are and why we are alcoholics and addicts. You see as I am moving through my recovery, I am doing things differently. I am beginning to see those 9th Step Promises coming true and I am not even a third of the way through the simple program that is suggested.

Tomorrow I will have four months in recovery and I am truly blessed to have a great sponsor who refuses to let me rest on my laurels. Right now there are no face to face meetings but I am still able to attend meetings with my online home group Global Steps Alcoholics Anonymous that happens to meet in the our church In The Rooms an online recovery place which has so many other recovery program meetings for any addiction that you can imagine. I am working my steps and I am about to embark on my 4thStep which will demand true rigorous honesty on my part.

On my 90th day of recovery I purchased a brand new 2020 Mitsubishi Mirage. I would have never imagined that I would own a brand-new car. I am working a job that pays $10.50 an hour and yet I have no fear of economic insecurity. I am feeling a mental peace that I have never know even during my previous 2 1/2 years of sobriety between February 2014 and September 14th, 2016 when I turned 50 and unfortunately threw that sobriety away and have been struggling through relapses and recoveries over and over again.

In December 2019 my husband of almost 19 years at the time had open heart surgery and I did not handle it well at all. In fact, I wedged his truck in concrete barrier on Christmas Eve when I went out and got drunk – luckily, I was able to have it winched out and I drove it home. But that wasn’t enough. On New Year’s Eve I had no intention of drinking let alone getting drunk because I had to open the Dollar General that I worked at 7AM. Well I did get drunk, did not open the store and then proceeded on a bender due to the shame and remorse. On January second, I returned the keys to the store and as I was leaving, I did wreck my husband’s truck and damaged the right headlight and hood area. Again, going into another bender until the night of January 3rd when I had my last drink.

Next weekend I will be taking a rite of passage and taking a road trip in my brand-new car to Lamar, Missouri where I was born and spent summers and Christmases with my grandparents who are long gone. Sunday is May 10th, and in Mexico every and every so many years including this year is Mother’s Day. I will be going to have a conversation with my mother at her graveside as she passed on Mother’s Day May 10th 1998. But I will also be seeing my grandmothers and grandfathers, my brother and other relatives that have passed over the years. This trip I anticipate will be very cathartic and yes I NEED TO TAKE THIS TRIP, even during this troubling time in America I cannot allow my fears of another health issue to stand in my way of taking down a demon that has been such a huge part of my multiple journeys into relapsing and recovery.

This time I know that if I pick up one drink, I might as well just die because I do have another relapse in me that would be the most horrible of them all, BUT I DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER RECOVERY IN ME!!!!

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!!!

 

 

#AtoZChallenge2020 – You Never Let Go

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I hate for this year’s #AtoZChallenge2020 to end. Yet, here we are at the letter “Y”. Today I have chosen Jeremy Camp’s You Never Let Go from my Apple Music playlist. You never let go has always been an important reminder when I hear ti because no matter how far I fall into my alcoholism or addiction of cocaine., my Higher Power whom I choose to call God has never let go of me. Have I let go of him, many times. Yet, I always return to my faith and I know He never let’s go!!!!

That’s what’s in  My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!!

Lyrics

Even though I walk through the valley
Of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle
Of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back, I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
And oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
Every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go off me, yeah
And I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
And oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
Every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go off me, yeah
Yes, I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
There will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes, oh
Still I will praise You, Lord
Still I will praise You, Lord, oh
Singing, oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storms
Oh no, You never let go
Every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go off me, yeah, oh oh
Singing, oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
Every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go off me, yeah
You never let go off me, oh oh oh
You never let go off me, Lord
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Redman Matthew James / Redman Beth Louise
You Never Let Go lyrics © Worshiptogether.com Songs, Thank You Music Ltd.

#AtoZChallenge2020 – Walk With You

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We are winding down on this year’s #AtoZChallenge2020. My entry for today is one of my most favorite songs from one of my most favorite shows Touched By An Angel. I have chosen Walk With You by the incomparable Della Reese who also starred in the show and did such a wonderful job as Tess.

I hope you enjoy. That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

 

#AtoZChallenge2020 – United We Stand

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The letter “U” is one that is really cool, but there are not as many song titles that do start with the letter “Q”. For today’s entry into #AtoZChallenge2020 I actually do have a great song from the 1970’s. I have chosen Sonny and Cher’s United We Stand. The United States of America has the word UNITED in the country name. In my 53 years I have never seen our country so DIVIDED as it is now. Yes, we have definitely had many decades of different turmoil’s, but during this first term of the current occupant of The White House and now this pandemic has truly shown the horrible true colors of the division in this GREAT country that I live in.

I long for the day when we have a leader that does unite this country and returns us to the status of UNITED to the best of their ability. That’s what’s in  My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!!!

 

Lyrics
There’s no where in the world that I would rather be
Then with you my love
And there’s nothing in the world that I would rather see
Than you smile my love

For united we stand. Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, Together, you and I

For united we stand. Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, Together, you and I
And if the world around you falls apart my love
Then I’ll still be here
And if the going gets too hard along the way
Just you call I’ll hear

For united we stand. Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, Together, you and I
For united we stand. Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, Together, you and I

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Goodison / Tony Hiller
United We Stand lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

#AtoZChallenge2020 & #1LinerWeds 4/22/20 – Something Beautiful

I try to run away but you keep pursuing me; I try hiding but you keep uncovering all the pain, all the shame, all the mistakes that I’ve made; then you take me, make me Something beautiful!

This is my favorite line from Anthony Evans’ Something Beautiful. I hope you enjoy this song for #1LinerWeds and #AtoZChallenge2020. That’s what’s in  My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

 

 

#AtoZChallenge2020 – An “R” Four Fer

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We have the letter “R” today for the #AtoZChallenge2020. As I am moving through my Apple Music playlist, I find that I have almost 50 songs that start with “R”. So today I am going to have a “R” Four Fer. Each of these holds a definite place in my heart because of their messages and the way they have touched me throughout my many battles through relapse and recovery.

I have chosen Jordan Feliz’s The River because whenever I am in a weird space I will head to the San Antonio River,  which I live very close to the Mission Reach of the river, with my four legged babies and we will get in and I can sit and just pray and I always feel at peace. I have also chosen two songs by Jeremy Camp Revive Me and RestoredRevive Me is a song that reminds that every day I can ask my Higher Power whom I choose to call God to revive me of my serenity and to help stay clean and sober on a daily basis. Restored is a reminder that asking God to revive me I can feel that wonderful spirit of serenity and know that all will be well in the world.

The final song in the four fer is Lauren Daigle’s  Remember is a constant reminder that my God has always been faithful to me even when I thought he had left my side!!! You can find the lyrics by clicking on the song title. That’s what’s in  My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by.

#SoCS3/21/20 – Welcome

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Today’s prompt from Linda for today’s #SoCS is WELCOME.  I gotta say my mind went immediately to one of my favorite songs by Brad Paisley,  Welcome to the future. So many things he sings about in this song has been seen in my lifetime. I send love hugs and prayers to everyone being affected by COVID-19. I hope you enjoy the video!!

 

That’s what’s in  My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!!!