Category Archives: #SoCS

#SoCS 9/26/20 – Container

Linda has provided us with the prompt of container for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

There is nothing worse than trying to find lids to the containers in the plastic to go cabinet in the kitchen. Wait, there is something worse, when you specifically buy containers with lids that stack together and your husband refuses to fall in line with that practice.

I cannot tell you how many I say, “Mr. Herrera, I buy these types of containers because of their ability to help save space and to keep the containers and lids together in one simple place. You see on Sundays I cook Sunder dinner and I deliver food to some very special people – my mother in law, the Sisters of the Holy Spirit and some other friends of ours.

It is very annoying searching for containers and then not finding the lids because he has put them in a drawer where they don’t belong.

On a different topic, I am getting better a placing certain things that have come up in my recovery into different MENTAL containers, some would say compartments – but aren’t they really the same thing?

For example when the old resentment player decides to suddenly crank up, I shut it off and throw it back into the far reaches of the resentment container in the brain. I have been blessed that over the last 8 months and 22 days I have not had to throw the desire to drink into it’s mental container – because I haven’t had any desire to drink.

What I do have to make sure stays in their respective mental containers are my character defects of impatience, sometimes being impulsive, speeding (for which I just completed my Defensive Driving Course for getting a ticket for going 86 in a 70 on a country road in Eagle Lake, Colorado County, Texas on 9/5/20 when I went to see my family on a spur of the moment trip), finding faults in others that I do not like about myself. I could go on and on with this list.

How do I keep those things where they belong? I wake up every day and thank my Higher Power whom I choose to call God for waking mu ep and not just bringing me to. I ask for His guidance in all that I do by turning everything over to the care of God as I understand him. I make meetings whether online or face to face. I do the best right thing. I do not pick up that first drink. At the end the day I again thank my Higher Power for being my partner in recovery JUST FOR TODAY! I am continuing to work on my 4ht step and I am in constant contact with my sponsor and I have the best support system in the world.

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage today, thanks for stopping by.

#SoCS 9/19/20 – Celebration

Linda has given us the prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday of “-tion.”

Reverberation on CONGRATULATIONS are in order for me because I turned 54 on Monday 9/14 and I did it SOBER!! As many of you know Between February 14, 2014 and September 14, 2016, the day I turned 50, I had 2 1/2 years of sobriety and then the alcoholic in my sabotaged me and I hit every haunt and did everything and more the old alcoholic used to do. This in turn became a three day binge which became a major depression and being off of work for a few weeks. I have had a lot of issues with relapse and recovery since that time however today it 8 months and 15 days SOBER.

You have read on my blog before about my epiphany a few months ago, I love doing service, in fact I truly believe that in 2016 when I turned 50, the whole reasoning behind my major relapse and then continuing to have issues with relapse and recovery – was because I had gotten mad at folks in my home group the Goliad Group and my online group – and I quit doing any type of service.

You see, I always say, I cannot keep what I do not give away freely!!!!!! That is a true statement if I am doing some sort of service for my fellow alcoholics then I cannot keep my sobriety. Today I chair meetings at my face to face home group and in my online home group. I share in every meeting that I can, because I never know who I will touch with my words of experience, strength and hope.

Reverberation of CONGRATULATIONS also are in order for my home group the Goliad Group which had their first Alcoholics anonymous meeting on September 13, 1964 and today we will be having our 56th Anniversary BBQ CELEBRATION with a speaker who has 24 years of sobriety at 6:15PM. If you are in San Antonio and would like to join us – we will be serving at 4:30PM. There is a suggested $5 donation as well. We are at 537 Avondale, San Antonio 78223 and you can call us at (210) 534-3937 any time if you need to know when we have meetings etc.

I am proud to be SOBER JUST FOR TODAY!!! That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!

Late #SoCS 9/12/20 – Collar

I had my pictures ready yesterday 9/12/20 and I was ready to write this post and then the day just rana way from me. Linda gave us “collar” for our prompt for this week’s #SoCS.

I thought what a perfect prompt because all of our babies got a new collar this week. In order of pictures – Crissy, Little Bitty, our newest baby Lucy, Sadie, Stitchy and Zailey.

We sure do love our babies and I hope every one has a blessed week.

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

#Socs 98/5/20 – “Sharp as a …..”

Today Linda has given us “sharp” as our prompt for this week’s #SoCS.

When I was younger I would be called sharp as a whip. As I became a teenager I became sharp as a pencil. As I moved through adulthood i was ranging from being sharp as a tack to being as sharp as a double edged sword with my fiery tacky sense of humor at times along with my very sharp tongue.

Today I deal a different type of sharpness. You see I have always been a go-getter especially when it comes to my work ethic. I currently find myself being called sharp in how I work, but I am also being called eager. Eager can be both a positive and a negative meaning that it can definitely be a sharp double edged sword.

The other double edged sword that I have to be very careful with is my recovery. I am very cognoscente that I must not stand still in my recovery, If I do I will be cut by that edge of the sword that cares nothing about me and my recovery.

September is National Recovery Month. We all know I am an open book and I am proud that I am in recovery! The last few years have been a struggle, but I am so proud to say I have 8 months of sobriety today. Unfortunately it took my husband Cruzer having open heart surgery in December of 2019 and me not taking it well for me to really wake up, but I am woke!

I am blessed to have a huge support network in my family, friends and my fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. But it is important to note that the number one thing that I have in my recovery is my Higher Power whom choose to call GOD!

If you know someone who is struggling with any type of addiction please let them know about a really great supplement to face to face meetings. In The Rooms that has meetings all day everyday for almost every type of addiction you can think of. I have a home group online Global Steps AA, that has a total of 64 meetings per week and just happens to meet in the church of In The Rooms!!!

So in order for me to be sure and handle the edge of the sword that does care about my recovery the way that I do, I do some pretty simple steps. I remain sharp as a tack in regards to my character defects coming to the surface and nip them in the bud. I thank my higher power whom I choose to call God every morning for allowing me to wake up and not just come to. I am in constant contact with my sponsor. I am currently working on my 4th step.

I love doing service, in fact I truly believe that in 2016 when I turned 50, the whole reasoning behind my major relapse and then continuing to have issues with relapse and recovery – was because I had gotten mad at folks in my home group the Goliad Group and my online group – and I quit doing any type of service.

You see, I always say, I cannot keep what I do not give away freely!!!!!! That is a true statement if I am doing some sort of service for my fellow alcoholics then I cannot keep my sobriety. Today I chair meetings at my face to face home group and in my online home group. I share in every meeting that I can, because I never know who I will touch with my words of experience, strength and hope.

So as long I continue to work this sharp program of recovery, I WILL REMAIN SHARP AS A TACK!!!!

That’ what’s in MY Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

#SoCS 8/29/20 – “More Than a hundred”

Linda has given us “more than a hundred” as the prompt for today’s #Socs.

Do you remember the days of the first phonographs. Then came the modern record player. Then there was the reel to reel players and my favorite music that my mother would play on the reel to reel tape player was Elvis Presley’s Christmas. Next we saw the eight track tape players – my sister used to play on her record player and eight track tape player a lot of the Beach Boys, Lynrd Skynrd, Janice Joplin, The Doors and all kinds of 70s rock.

Next came the cassette tape and players. Many of you probably remember your first Sony Walkman and then their were so may knock offs. The next thing that came along were compact discs (CDs) which also had its own version of the Sony Walkman CD player. Then came the MP3 player and boy howdy did Apple make a few million on that with the iPod. With streaming services such as Apple Music, I Heart Radio, Sirius XM and all the other ways to listen to music – we all have had to adapt to the way we do it.

I have been a customer of T-Mobile since 2002. When the first iPhone came out in 2007 T-Mobile did not offer it. In fact T-Mobile did not offer the iPhone to their customers until April 2013. I hated the hype about the iPhone because I was never going to be able to get one, they were way to expensive for me. My first iPhone was a 4s and since that time I have moved up and I currently have the Red iPhone 11.

Where am I going with this,? I have more than a hundred music CDs that range from almost every genre of music. The problem is I no longer listen them because I have over 3,000 songs in my extensive Apple Music catalogue and that is how I listen to my music. I will say that when I took my road trip to Lamar, Missouri on Mother’s Day weekend, I did listen to some of my CDs in my brand new 2020 Mistsubishi Mirage that I did not know had a CD player until I did some investigating in my car.

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

Late SoCS 8/22/20 -“Brush It Off”

Linda gave us the prompt of “brush” for this weeks #SoCS.

How is it that people do not and cannot follow traffic situations. On my main thoroughfare S. Presa St. there has been some utility work being done and the left hand side of the street is closed down with detour signs everywhere.

I drive this street everyday and I kid you not, every single time at least one driver decides to go around the barricade and drive on the wrong side of the street and then proceed to get mad when they almost hit me. Luckily, with my brand new car, I drive with so much more attention being paid to my surroundings and the other drivers that can often be idiots.

This brush with accidents daily would make you think well, why don’t you go a different way. I don’t drive a different way because I know that that side of the street is blocked and that a good driver will pay attention to the detour and not continue to give others a brush with accidents.

This kind of reminds me of the 3 1/2 years of my struggle with returning to my recovery from alcoholism and addiction to cocaine. Every time that I decided during this time to pick up a drink and not knowing when to stop I was bringing myself ever closer to that brush with not ever coming back. Some days there were even brushes with death and yet I just could not pick myself up and BRUSH all that crap off.

Today I have over 7 1/2 months of recovery and everyday I get up and I brush that negative crap out of my head and brush what litlle hair I have and I get on with my day and I do the most important thing.

I don’t pick up a drink – JUST FOR TODAY!!!! Let’s all get up and brush the crap away!!

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!

Late – #SoCS 7/18/20 – Link

This week Linda gave us the prompt of “link” for #SoCS. First of all I need to link my mental being with my writing being so that every Friday I read my email from Linda for #SoCS so that I write it either on Friday or first thing Saturday morning.

This week, I really do have a good excuse for being late. A few weeks ago I began working a new job at the University of the Incarnate Word and I had quit my job at 7-11 with the understanding I could be on call if they needed me on Friday or Saturday nights graveyard. That happened this week. So, Friday afternoon I got off at 5PM and went to bed for 4 1/2 hours and then went to work from 10PM to 6AM, came home and chaired an online meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous from 7AM – 8AM and then went to bed for 12 hours.

The day slipped away and it was not until this morning that I made a link that yesterday was Saturday and I again missed my writing a #SoCS post. I really am working to get better at making sure I link Saturday with writing at least one post, the one that matters – #SoCS.

That being said, I have made a very important link about me and my continued sobriety. I recently started serving as a chairperson of the Beginners meeting at the Goliad Group my home group and I recently got elected as the secretary of the group. I also began serving again as a chairperson for my online home group Global Steps AA that happens to just meet in the church of In The Rooms. I currently have one standing meeting per week that I am the chair of and I humbly accepted when two other chairpersons asked me to sub for them until they are ready to return to their meetings.

The link that I have made is that about a month before my 50th birthday on September 14th , 2016 I stopped doing any type of service work at my home group and my online home group after almost 2 1/2 years of sobriety. Because of this the dynamic of my sobriety changed, I had become prideful and I had lost my humility where it came to my sobriety. Because of this I know for a fact that there is a link between service work and sobriety. the link is this I CAN NOT KEEP WHAT I DO NOT GIVE AWAY FREELY!!!!

Today I know the ANSWER to my continued sobriety is HUMILITY, SELF-LOVE, SERVICE, the suggested program of Alcoholics Anonymous and my HIGHER POWER whom I choose to call God. I wanted to close with an excellent reminder from one of my favorite contemporary Cristian rock artists Jeremy Camp. Please enjoy this video of “The Answer”.

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!!

#SoCS 7/11/2020 – Send me an Angel

Today Linda has given us “SONG” as our prompt for #SoCS with the following: “First, find a picture–the closest one to you. Your prompt is the title and/or the lyrics of the first song that comes to mind when you look at the picture.”

This picture hangs above my desk on the left hand wall. It was given to me probably 15 years ago by one of my best friends Martha, she and I have been best friends since we worked together at SITEL Corporation in 1999. It is the first picture I saw as I read the prompt from Linda. The first song I thought of was Send Me An Angel by Real Life from 1983. The video below is from 1989 and the song and video were played widely in 1989 and 1990 when I first moved to San Antonio after being released to a halfway house.

In 1999, who would have thought that indeed I would be sent an angel in the form of my Cruzer. We met through friends in 1997 and then lost touch for a few years. He was going through a tough time in January 2001 when he called 411, you remember information – right, to find my number because he just needed a friend to talk to. It was like we picked up where we never even started or left off – and here we are almost 19 1/2 years later and we are still together.

He has seen me at my best and at my worst and yet he has loved me through it all. I could not ask for a better friend and husband. My Higher Power whom I choose to call God truly did send me an angel!!

Enjoy the music video below from Real Life. That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

Slightly Late #SoCS – Recovery Toss

Linda gave us the prompt of toss for this week’s #SoCS.

There are days when I wish I could just toss all of the junk that lines the walls in my dining room, living room garage, backroom and the husband’s bedroom out.

Unfortunately, when you live with a hoarder, you cannot just toss things out. It is a struggle and I have begged for years for him to seek some help to so we can understand the cause of his hoarding. I will say that over the last two years, he has gotten much better at not just buying crap just to buy crap.

So, I simply just toss my own crap out. Every six months I go through a purge. If it hasn’t been worn or used in the last six months to a year – it gets TOSSED!!

I also continue to toss all those old behaviors , attitudes, and resentments out of my head and the way I speak and, act and react in situations that used to baffle me. By the way all of those items mentioned above are items that I have tended to hoard over the years, even when I thought I wasn’t. I am blessed to have 6 months of SOBRIETY as of 7/1/20 and I am so proud to have them.

So, I will keep on tossing what I don’t need and keep only what will benefit me in my road of recovery and being spiritually fit!!

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

#SoCS 6/20/20 – BumFuzzled

Today Linda has given us the prompt of using a word that contains “ZZ” for #SoCS. Let me preface this by saying what I say here is my opinion and today at the end of this post I am providing a very important PUBLIC SERVICE ANNONCEMENT.

Bumfuzzled – Confused, bereft of knowledge about a particular thing. This definition comes from the Urban Dictionary.

So, I am bumfuzzeled by the current White House occupant’s re-election campaign slogan “Keep America Great”. You may ask – what is making you bumfuzzled?

I am bumfuzzled because today on June 20, 2020 in the eyes of the rest of the world America is not great. We have an occupant of the White House who issues a veiled threat to American Citizens in this tweet:

Donald J. Trump@realDonaldTrump·Any protesters, anarchists, agitators, looters or lowlifes who are going to Oklahoma please understand, you will not be treated like you have been in New York, Seattle, or Minneapolis. It will be a much different scene!

To which I replied:

Gregory Frieden@glf1966Replying to @realDonaldTrumpIs this the president threatening the citizens of the United States? Because that is what it sounds like!!! #RacistInChief#LiarInChief#ThreatenerInChief#BullyInChief#GetOut#YouWontWinNNovember

We have a current occupant of the White House who himself is completely bumfuzzled about anything and everything having to deal with a GLOBAL PANDEMIC such as COVID-19 and is only interested in his own NARCISSISTIC AGENDA.

We have a Republican Controlled Senate that is so scared of the consequences of going against the current occupant of the White House and that have their noses so far up his butt that their whole face is covered in, (you put your own word here) that they refuse to do the work that their CONSTITUENTS – the AMERICAN PEOPLE – sent them to Washington to do.

We have a current occupant of the White House and an Administration whose beliefs and understanding of the country trickles all the way down to every single state, county and individual cities and towns that refuses to recognize the calamity of complete SOCIAL INEQUALITY, JUSTICE INEQUALTIY, RACIAL INEQUALITY, JOBS INEQUALITY, HAPPINESS INEQUALITY and all the INEQUALITIES that you can think that are so SYSTEMIC in our country. Mind you, these inequalities spread across a broad spectrum of individuals who were not born WHITE, PROTESTANT, STRAIGHT MALES!!!!

I am so bumfuzzled that his base is just so drunk on the KOOLAID that this individual continues to serve them. The current occupant of the White House wants The UNITED STATES of AMERICA to continue to be DIVIDED and to self implode.

What is worse, is that his base believes that everything he says and does is for them – HE DOESN”T CARE ABOUT THEM AT ALL!!!!!!!!! HE CARES ABOUT HIS MONEY, HIS NARCISSISTIC SELF. Heck, I can almost guarantee he DOESN’T EVEN CARE ABOUT HIS FAMILY the way he cares about himself.

It seems that every four years we in America hear that this is the most IMPORTANT election of our lifetime. I WRITE BEFORE YOU TODAY, that I can HONESTLY say THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION WE HAVE HAD. If the current occupant of the White House and his Republicans who are scared to go against him are allowed another four years, I can guarantee we will have a very tough fight for AMERICA to truly return to GREATNESS. I have seen a lot in my almost 54 years but the last 3 1/2 years have been a HORRENDOUS lesson in History.

It is very important that if you or someone you know is not registered to vote, that you and they please register to vote. But registering to vote is NOT ENOUGH! WE MUST ALL EXCERCISE OUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT AND DUTY and GET OUT and VOTE on November 3, 2020. If you are allowed to vote by mail due to specific guidelines in your states as well as the specific federal guidelines, MAIL IN THAT BALLOT. Pretty much every county in the contiguous United States and territories have a period of EARLY VOTING – if you do not want to stand in the long lines on November 3rd please exercise your right to participate in EARLY VOTING.

I beg of you we all must become UN-BUMFUZZLED and ensure that there is no chance of BUMFUZZLEMENT on NOVEMBER 3rd. The United STATES of AMERICA can return to GREATNESS but we will not if we give them another four years.

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!!