Disclaimer, this last weekend my niece and her daughter were in town for ther Southern Region Cheer Power Nationals for which my great niece’s team won in three categories including Grand Champion for their division!!
- a: Validate, confirm or b: to state positively
- to assert (something, such as a judgement or devree) as valid or confirmed
- to show or express a strong belief in or dedication to (something, such as an important idea)
One of the easiest but hardest things to do in recovery from alcoholism and addiction to anything is to affirm the positive aspects of who you are. Especially if you have gone into a deep relapse and are back to your old ways. When we are in relapse, we often find that there are no aspects of our lives that are worthy to affirm.
I must disagree with my statement above because the flip side of that is that when we are in relapse, we tend to focus on what we believe are the aspects of who and what we are that is worthy to affirm as a method of denial and rationalization. I was the worst. I would tell my husband yes, I am drinking but I take excellent care of the four-legged babies. They want for nothing. I still attend daily mass and I still am very empathetic to others and show my love and concern. Look, I am still taking care of the four yards that I take care of, so I must not be all that bad. Look how much I do for your mother, I do more for her than even you and her own kids do for her. For the most part, that is a very true statement even now almost 18 years later, whether clean and sober or if I have been in the middle of a relapse!!
Isn’t it so much more gratifying to be able to affirm who we are and what we believe in when we are doing the work for our recovery? For me I am proud to affirm that I am a God Fearing Catholic who truly enjoys attending daily mass and especially our Sunday 8AM mass at St. Cecilia Catholic Church in San Antonio, Texas. For one thing my church is directly across the street from our house and I have been a member of this parish for almost 18 years and proud of that. Along with lectoring, I affirm that I love being a part of the 8AM Sunday choir because I truly enjoy singing. Don’t laugh but my four legged children come running to me when I sing at home, especially when I sing Mercy Me’s “I Can Only Imagine”.
I am blessed to affirm that from what I have been told by my Priest Father Edvin and many in our parish that I have a true gift for Lectoring and that I deliver the word of God in a very charismatic and powerful way. I can also affirm that Father Edvin has said multiple times that I do not just read the word of God, but I teach, and I don’t even know that I am teaching.
I affirm that I am an excellent chef and I am known in my little neighborhood for my soups during the winter, my casseroles, meatloaf and mashed potatoes, my pork chops steamed in Dr. Pepper and so many other dishes. I can affirm this because I love to share my food with my neighbors and until recently for 18 years, I have been able to share my cooking with the Sisters of The Holy Spirit that were residing in the St. Cecilia Convent. They moved to another Convent at St. Philip of Jesus about 5 minutes from my house and so I will still be able to share my cooking with them, like I did yesterday because I had made a huge batch of spaghetti and meat sauce.
I also can affirm that my favorite quote from “The Help” by Kathryn Stockett is very true of me whether I am in recovery as I am currently working on my first 30 days in a long time, or if I am in the middle of a horrible relapse –
“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
Just for today, I will remain CLEAN AND SOBER!!!!!
That’s what’s in “My Rattled Cage”, thanks for stopping by!!